My fiance and I bought a house a year before we got engaged. We have everyhing we need for the house, so registering would not be really appropriate for us. Is it tacky to want money instead of registry gifts? How would I go about wording it so that it didn't sound greedy?
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15 responses so far ↓
1 Megs // Jul 5, 2008
I would suggest gift cards instead of "money" as it sounds a little tacky.
My fiance and I have lived together for a year and have everything we need but put stuff that we WANTED on the list, new towels, a wok, stuff for our ferret, printer paper, garden supplies, spice rack, little things like that.
Often people are more comfortable giving gifts than giving money or gift cards.
2 donna t // Jul 5, 2008
registering for gifts is not asking for them, only giving ideas what you would like if they choose to give a wedding gift. according to etiquette you can't ask for money, sorry
3 n8nsmom // Jul 5, 2008
My fiance and I already own a house full of stuff so we put on our wedding web site "Gifts: only your presence. However, if you feel moved donate to charity, these are some of our favorites…" There is a lot of need in the world, why not help others. There is no polite way to ask for money.
4 B // Jul 5, 2008
I feel for you. I really don't need stuff but it is considered 100% tacky to ask for money… but I found that as I looked at some sites, I found stuff I wanted anyway. Some people will refuse to give a gift at all if they are asked to give money because they find it so offensive. No matter what you do or request people will give you household gifts anyway… registering at gives you a chance of getting the items you want and you'll know where to return it to… not sure if the stores will give cash back or store credit, but you can maybe return a blender you don't really want and put it towards a bigger ticket item.
Some ideas
-register for your honeymoon (some people will feel this is like asking for money but many think its great and fun… they'd love to pay for your scuba diving trip and you can send them pictures telling them how much you enjoyed it)
- register at a place like Home Depot so you can fix up your house and maybe get it repainted
- register for big-ticket items like rugs or furniture you need and check the box for gift cards being acceptable… people can put money towards your new dining room table or buy it outright
- don't forget things like luggage
5 Booted off Level 6 // Jul 5, 2008
don't register and don't mention gifts and then create a box for cards for your reception which people do and when guests come they drop them in the slot ..and usually give cash.
6 Bunny // Jul 5, 2008
Don't , under any circumstances ask for money, it makes you seem very greedy. Instead, just don't register or register for very few things. People will get the hint. Most people now a days give money for weddings anyways because it is easier than buying a gift and lugging it to the wedding.
7 mamacita62005 // Jul 5, 2008
Asking for money is tacky. What I would suggest is only register for very few things and then hopefully people will give money instead of gifts.
8 gingin // Jul 5, 2008
It's tough. Used to be that you wouldn't never do this. It's the eternal question "How do I get out of bad wedding gifts"- I would register for a bunch and hope they get you that and take it back and get the money. Good luck and if you find a good way to do it, let me know.
9 Trish D // Jul 5, 2008
In no circumstance is it OK to ask for money. It is tacky and rude and it sends the message that you're just inviting people for their gift of cash. Register for a few items at a store you like and be sure that your mom, FMIL, sisters, etc all know your wishes. You'll have to leave it up to them to spread your request via word of mouth.
10 Ms. Shaw // Jul 5, 2008
You can't flat out ask for money. That's definitely tacky. Ask people to please include gift receipts in case there are duplicates and then just take the gifts back and get the money. I know plenty of people that do this. Besides, you might like some of the gifts anyway! Many people just end up giving money anyway!
11 juliejuliejulie // Jul 5, 2008
Here's a great idea that comfortably prosperous brides used to do: don't register anywhere, and put "no gifts please" on the invitation.
Enjoy hosting your wedding reception and have a lovely marriage!
PS - if you want to make a profit, don't throw the party. Usually the price per guest is a little more than the mandatory gift/ donation per guest.
12 ~ Ternie ~ // Jul 5, 2008
You can request what you want, but what I found in my wedding is that people just don't pay attention, no matter what you write on the invite. They'll either give you money/gift card because they don't bother to look at your registry, or they'll get you whatever they've got left over in their house.
But if you want guaranteed money, have a dollar dance at your reception.
13 Sunny // Jul 5, 2008
all the wedding etiquette books say it is considered rude to ask for money. the key is to just not register for gifts. that is supposed to be a 'HINT-HINT' to the guests that you just want money instead
14 Rach // Jul 5, 2008
You can but I think it's tacky.
15 Q-mama // Jul 5, 2008
It's really tacky and inappropriate to ask. Many people will give cash anyway. The best thing to do is not register for items and let people do what they will. You may also let your closest family members and bridal party be a "grapevine" if guests contact them for ideas. There are several websites now that do vacation registries or similar things where people can contribute to your honeymoon or other vacation. Consider as well registering for gift cards at Home Depot or Target as you will always need stuff from there for the house and day to day life.
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