Okay well my situation is pretty complicated? Well in 6th grade when i got to middle school i became friends with a lot of people. We kinda formed this large group of friends. then came 7th grade and that’s when things changed. We split into 2 groups. One is huge and the other basically has 2 people in it. Well I’m in the smaller group. Each group gained more friends in their group so now my group has 4 people. But that’s okay (: The thing is one friend from the huge group was confronted by the people in the huge group and they said she was annoying or something, so basically she sorta got kicked out. That’s when she started hanging out with us [small group] .The way i see it is she’s just using us as back up friends. Then in 8th grade she’s been hanging out with us but then the problem is when some people from the bigger group just like come and talk or hang out for a while with us, the friend that came to us as practically back up friends always acts like we’re not there. She only acknowledges us when it’s on the 5 of us.
Should we confront her too? Should we be nice and just let her be?
any other ideas?
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8 responses so far ↓
1 Jackie // Oct 2, 2008
Get new friends after all you have only been on earth 15 years.
2 Music Is My Life // Oct 2, 2008
i hav friends like this too, ignore them!!
3 Coolmama // Oct 2, 2008
Don’t be a back up friend. Just don’t put up with her crap. When she does acknowledge you don’t acknowledge her back she should get the idea
4 sn0zb0z // Oct 2, 2008
If she’s doing no harm and not expecting anything other than someone to talk to and hang around with I’d just be nice to her and let her be. No point in causing an argument
5 KerrytheKiwi // Oct 2, 2008
The idea of backup friends is understandable - if you lose your friends, you try and find others. But her ignoring you is not a good thing - and you should gently bring it up when it’s just the 5 of you - not when the people from the bigger group are around.
I’ve had the exact same problem with my friend - only she has suddenly became best friends with a girl who is using us as backup friends - so both the girl who is using us as backup friends and my actual friend basically ignored us. I brought this up gently when the girl using us as a backup friend wasn’t around, and it was resolved. Now we just have normal friend arguments
6 Lauren C // Oct 2, 2008
just say to her stop using us you fool!! lol no really everyone is aloud to have more then just one friend, but if its really getting on your nerves just say to her its not fair for her to be best mates one minute then sly the next
7 Mousey.. // Oct 2, 2008
well .. do you think it was wrong for the larger group to kick her out?
if you do .. then you kicking her out would be even worse .. kicking her when she’s down and all ..i know you feel used .. but try to see it from her point of view .. without you .. she has nobody.
however .. the fact that she doesn’t treat you the same when the others are there .. it’s kind of suggesting you the are back up group after all .
all four of you should try talking to her together … telling her that you feel a little like the back up friends .. and if she really wants to be your friend .. she better start acting like one !
good luck my dear
8 Zackle19 // Oct 2, 2008
Look sometimes that happens in the social spectrum. People are back up friends sometimes. That is why I spend my time equally with all my friends the best I can. She will come and go, just don’t let it get to you. That’s the bad side to the social life.
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