My fiance and I live in Australia. We are flying across the other side of the country to our hometown for our wedding, as we have elderly relatives who can’t be expected to travel.
We set up a honeymoon registry for our trip to Thailand, as we have been living together for 3 years we own everything we need. We live in outback Australia and there are no nice department stores to go and register in!!!
We did not include registry details in our invites, just gave the details to our parents and if anyone came asking what to buy us they suggested the registry.
We have already had people contribute to it and tell us what a great idea it is, as lots of people did not know what to buy us and they were aware we will be limited with gifts we can bring back on the plane.
This honeymoon registry has made the difference between having a holiday within Australia, to now us being able to go overseas for the first time (we have never been overseas and we are not wealthy people).
But so many people on YA seem to think honeymoon registries are ‘tacky’ and ‘rude’, what are your thoughts and where do you live, I am guessing the etiqutte on this may be different in different countries.
I don’t believe we have been rude in the way we have gone about our registry and we haven’t even requested gifts off anyone, if people don’t buy a gift or contribute to the registry we won’t care.
Sorry, yes when I mean 'register' for gifts, that means going to a store and picking out things you like and sending the list out to family, etc…there are no stores here to do that. With the honeymoon registry, guests can take a card wth all the details on it and they pay an amount into an account at the tavel agent's for us.
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5 responses so far ↓
1 kat // Sep 30, 2008
you know we get so stuck on “the way its always been done” that when there is a change people don’t respond well to it.When you say register, here in the USA that mean going to a store and picking out things you would like for the wedding guest to buy for you but I’m assuming that you mean money instead of a gift such as a toaster.HA HA.But still I see nothing wrong with it.If having a rally nice honeymoon is more important to you then say a toaster then so be it .Personally that is what I would want too.I think its smart of you.
2 NikkiM♥BTB 08/29/09♥ // Sep 30, 2008
I think they are a GREAT idea. I would buy off of this type of registry ANY time. Some people feel it’s asking for cash but it’s not. People still have the option of NOT USING THIS REGISTRY!
I have also seen honeymoon registries where you can register for massages or limo or something like that. People can buy this, they don’t just give you cash. So I don’t see the difference between regsitering for a limo or registering for a vase.
It’s just a new thing and people are afraid of change. For the longest time people thought ANY kind of registry was tacky.
3 Katiesmama11 // Sep 30, 2008
I think what offends more people is how you go about doing it, rather then that you having a honeymoon registry. Some people would like to dictate how people give them gifts and what they get. A registry of any kind was always supposed to be merely a courtesy, a convenient way to help gift givers choose something you would really like. I think so many people on here ask about the presents and the money, and questions like how can I politely ask for cash? I think a honeymoon or any other kind of registry is fine as long as it is merely an offering of something the bride and groom would appreciate rather then you must get them this.
I am sorry that I have rambled so much! I think honeymoon registries are fine. I think people that register at Bloomingdale’s with nothing under $150 except a shrimp fork is ridiculous, but if you want me to help contribute to your trip to Venice, god bless!
4 riversconfluence // Sep 30, 2008
They think that it is begging for gifts, or telling people what to buy. I used to think that a little too. but I used a registry to buy gifts, and the one bride was thrilled with what she got, the other not so much.
Bride number one got a spice rack carousel, nobody had bought it for her, she thought no one would. I did! And I got it on sale, and she never knew it. She was so surprised!
Bride # 2 got flatware, the expensive kind from the upscale department store. I bought as many place settings as I could afford, and wrapped them very nicely. I got thanked, but I could tell it was begrudging, and she had a puzzled look on her face. I think that she thought she should have got all 12 place settings from one person, but no could do, way out of the budget of 99.9% of the people attending the wedding. At $30 a setting, way back then, well, $360 was a lot of money for a co-worker I barely knew. Ha, I got it half price at the sale, I paid $15 each. She got 4.
Well, to answer your question I personally do not wish to contribute directly to a honeymoon registry. I think that if anyone is going out of the country, it should be me, LOL. But I would be more than happy to give money, or a loaded credit card for souvenirs and spending money, if that is what you chose to do with the money. Once a gift is given, it is the choice of the recipient to do whatever they want with it. And yes, some people think that a destination registry is tacky. And in some circles, it is. See, in older and gentler times way back when, a wedding gift was given to start the couple out in life, since they were both single and coming from their parent’s houses, and had not lived together. It would have been rude to out and out ask for money for a honeymoon, it was not done, the honeymoon was considered to be the husband’s gift to the bride.
Not now, it is done often. and in your circumstances, with the guests so far away, and considering you have no department store near for the locals, I think it is not a bad idea.
5 brwneyes // Sep 30, 2008
People think they are bad because they don’t want you to ask for money for a honeymoon. They think you should be satisfied with any gift that you get. It is sort of like asking for cash.
Many people will give you less money if you do a registry than if you actually just don’t register.
Most people here have lived together for a while or been together for a while and “have everything they need.”
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